Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.
— Oscar Wilde. ❤️
Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.
— Oscar Wilde. ❤️
About a half hour ago, I saw a tweet retweeted onto my Twitter timeline stating that “There’s no shortage of good men, women just have to learn how to be patient.” I won’t get into why I feel like a woman tweeting that is ridiculous… yet, but I will ask a series of questions in reference to that tweet. Why do we have to be patient? Why do we have to wait? What’s in it for us? Is a good man that’s finally ready to act like one a prize? After years of being patient, will the heaven’s open and will we as women miraculously be awarded with the man of our dreams? This patriarchal society in which we live has really made it easy for men (Go figure). They have engrained into our heads that men are pretty much “come as you are” creatures. Take them as they are, or have nothing at all. A man can be the most horrible human being on earth, and still have a woman or women fawning over his terrible ass. Meanwhile, women have to be borderline perfect in every essence of the word, regardless of how foolish it is to think this way being that nobody is perfect. A woman has to be beautiful, have an amazing body, be loving, be caring, be empathetic and sympathetic, compassionate, have a good heart, be motherly, respectable, trustworthy, classy, know how to act in a public setting, be pure, but also be a freak for her man, be quiet, be patient, be intelligent and semi-educated, be a homemaker, be willing to be accommodating to the BS men pull… and the list goes on and on or else a woman will be deemed a cat lady or a spinster for the rest of her days. Oh, what will a woman do without a MAN! 😱 I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that I am an ideal woman. Just yesterday, one of my homeboys told me that I am the type of woman any Black man would want. He proceeded to list of the qualities that I possess and after I said “Thanks”, it really made me think. Here I am the “ideal woman” in many of the men I encounter’s eyes, and yet I don’t have a man… and when I have had one, none were ready completely for me. Am I supposed to sit around and patiently wait for the stars to align, the timing to be perfect, and for there to be no distance, to finally find a man that is ready to be the man that I need? Or am I supposed to focus on myself, my hopes, and my dreams, and if I happen to meet a man that is worthy and deserving of everything that I know that I am, inside and out, then it won’t even feel like I’ve been waiting. It will be a blessing. See, we as women give these men that aren’t ready a pass. We take them as they are and wait around hoping one day that he’ll see in us what we see in ourselves already and that he’ll accept us for the women we already know that we are like we are “supposed” to do with them. I’m no longer here for that. I shouldn’t have to wait for a damn thing. What I will do is continue striving to be the best woman I can be on my own and if a wonderful man happens to show up who wants to support my journey and vice versa, then that will be the true prize for us both.
Thank God I found the good in goodbye…
— "Best Thing I Never Had" - Beyonce’
We have to stop selling ourselves short.
If a man really likes you, values you and wants you to be his woman, he will put in the extra effort to build a connection with you. He will pick up the phone, instead of relying on texting as his sole means of communicating. He will court you. He will support you, he will compliment you and he will go out of his way to keep a smile on your face.
That is the BARE minimum you should want out of a man when dating. The problem with women not getting what they want out of relationships, normally lies in the fact that they are not exactly sure what they want to begin with. If you aren’t specific and honest with yourself when it comes to the expectations you have from the guys that you date, you are liable to settle for anything.
Lastly, it’s important to remember that refusing to settle doesn’t exactly mean that you will be single forever. It means that you have the patience to wait for what you truly deserve.
For the past week I’ve been having this overwhelming feeling of happiness and bliss, a feeling that I haven’t felt in a long time, a feeling that I’ve only reserved for people that I love or have loved in the past. I’ve been acting and feeling like a smitten school girl, who has a case of puppy love. I have easily come out and expressed my feelings to my friends and to the Twitter world, but I don’t think anybody understands… When I say, “I’m in love,” I’m referencing music.
I’ve always loved music, ever since I was a young child and my father introduced several different forms of it to me. He used to blast Reggae Gold 95, anything from Phil Collins, U2, The Temptations, Will Smith (“Summertime” Will), Heavy D and The Boys, Public Enemy and more, all on cassette tape (remember those?) when we used to take random adventures around the city in his truck and road trips with my mother and my aunts and uncles up and down the east coast. On the way to elementary school, I remember hearing Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg’s, “Nuthin’ But A G Thang”, at the age of 5 or 6, while listening to the local rap station Power 92, and I still consider that to be the first rap song I’ve ever heard. My mother and my aunts introduced me to neo-soul music thru Erykah Badu (who I absolutely adore), while they blasted her Live Baduizm album as much as possible. My mother always reminds me that I stole all of her Neo-Soul albums from her, starting with Erykah, to Jill Scott, to Maxwell, to India Arie, Anthony Hamilton. From cassette tapes, to CD’s, to Napster, to Rhapsody, and now to iTunes, I’ve had my hand in it all and I owe it to my parents for allowing me to listen to what I wanted, when I wanted to. I thank them for passing music on to me.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve allowed the Internet to become my best friend in my quest to find music, thru songs and albums. I became a Nas/Erykah Badu/Teedra Moses/Donny Hathaway/Destiny’s Child/Aaliyah/Jay-Z/Alicia Keys/Lauryn Hill/D’Angelo/Jill Scott/Mary J. Blige/Lil’ Kim/Biggie/Frank Ocean/Big K.R.I.T./Adele/Maroon 5/Damian Marley stan, listening to their albums and songs in full on my own accord. I used to sit at home after school during high school, and literally search and listen to music for hours, and I still do the same to this day, when I can. I’ve always loved music.
Nonetheless, over this past week, the feeling that I have for music has developed into more than just love, I’ve fallen IN LOVE with it (again?). Frank Ocean’s album, Nostalgia, ultra. made me do it… The Weeknd’s album, House of Balloons, made me feel it… and then Big K.R.I.T’s album, Return of 4Eva dropped… O_O <== Heart Attack Face. Of course this is just a short list of what has made these feelings transpire but WOW. If this is what music is going to be like from here on out, I can’t complain. NOTHING has died, music has transformed, like it has always done, into something bigger than before.
I’m in love with music, and I don’t think these feelings will change anytime soon. ♥
Download Frank Ocean’s, Nostalgia, ultra., The Weeknd’s, House of Balloons, and Big K.R.I.T.’s album, Return of 4Eva below (If you don’t already have them - CLICK PHOTOS TO DOWNLOAD).
I haven’t typed up a dialogue of my thoughts on here in ages but I thought it was appropriate today because I don’t feel like talking about it on The Twitter. SO this guy I went to school with tweeted that it’s okay for people to meet their so-called “boo joint’s” mother. I RT’d back stating in question form that “ppl meet their boo-joint’s” mom?” because that’s new to me. Probably because my definition of a “boo-joint” is just somebody that you are ‘friends’ with that you occasionally have casual sex with but there is no real commitment or feelings involved from either one or both parties. Now, back in my day (rocks in rocking chair while sipping lemonade), the only one(s) that got to meet the parents and/or family was somebody that you’re SERIOUS about. Someone that you’re in an actual RELATIONSHIP with. Someone you could possibly envision a FUTURE with. Not just any person that you’re fucking that month. How do you even introduce a “boo-joint” to your parents? SCENARIO: Me- “Hey mom this is, Fred. He’s a friend and just somebody I occasionally have sex with, but he’s not my boyfriend… Just thought ya’ll should meet.” Mom - “Okay… O_o <— Da Fuck Face”. Talking about relationships in 2011 makes me shudder because it definitely seems like all hope is lost from some of my generation. Probably because they brought their own personal lost faith in relationships from their own families to the forefront and pushed the bullshit out on us all.
Anyway, just thought I would share. :)
May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn’t live a day without you.