Up in the air . . . with infinite possibilities

For the past week I’ve been having this overwhelming feeling of happiness and bliss, a feeling that I haven’t felt in a long time, a feeling that I’ve only reserved for people that I love or have loved in the past. I’ve been acting and feeling like a smitten school girl, who has a case of puppy love. I have easily come out and expressed my feelings to my friends and to the Twitter world, but I don’t think anybody understands… When I say, “I’m in love,” I’m referencing music. 

I’ve always loved music, ever since I was a young child and my father introduced several different forms of it to me. He used to blast Reggae Gold 95, anything from Phil Collins, U2, The Temptations, Will Smith (“Summertime” Will), Heavy D and The Boys, Public Enemy and more, all on cassette tape (remember those?) when we used to take random adventures around the city in his truck and road trips with my mother and my aunts and uncles up and down the east coast. On the way to elementary school, I remember hearing Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg’s, “Nuthin’ But A G Thang”, at the age of 5 or 6, while listening to the local rap station Power 92, and I still consider that to be the first rap song I’ve ever heard. My mother and my aunts introduced me to neo-soul music thru Erykah Badu (who I absolutely adore), while they blasted her Live Baduizm album as much as possible. My mother always reminds me that I stole all of her Neo-Soul albums from her, starting with Erykah, to Jill Scott, to Maxwell, to India Arie, Anthony Hamilton. From cassette tapes, to CD’s, to Napster, to Rhapsody, and now to iTunes, I’ve had my hand in it all and I owe it to my parents for allowing me to listen to what I wanted, when I wanted to. I thank them for passing music on to me. 

As I’ve grown older, I’ve allowed the Internet to become my best friend in my quest to find music, thru songs and albums. I became a Nas/Erykah Badu/Teedra Moses/Donny Hathaway/Destiny’s Child/Aaliyah/Jay-Z/Alicia Keys/Lauryn Hill/D’Angelo/Jill Scott/Mary J. Blige/Lil’ Kim/Biggie/Frank Ocean/Big K.R.I.T./Adele/Maroon 5/Damian Marley stan, listening to their albums and songs in full on my own accord. I used to sit at home after school during high school, and literally search and listen to music for hours, and I still do the same to this day, when I can. I’ve always loved music. 

Nonetheless, over this past week, the feeling that I have for music has developed into more than just love, I’ve fallen IN LOVE with it (again?). Frank Ocean’s album, Nostalgia, ultra. made me do it… The Weeknd’s album, House of Balloons, made me feel it… and then Big K.R.I.T’s album, Return of 4Eva dropped… O_O <== Heart Attack Face. Of course this is just a short list of what has made these feelings transpire but WOW. If this is what music is going to be like from here on out, I can’t complain. NOTHING has died, music has transformed, like it has always done, into something bigger than before. 

I’m in love with music, and I don’t think these feelings will change anytime soon. ♥ 

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Download Frank Ocean’s, Nostalgia, ultra., The Weeknd’s, House of Balloons, and Big K.R.I.T.’s album, Return of 4Eva below (If you don’t already have them - CLICK PHOTOS TO DOWNLOAD). 

I haven’t typed up a dialogue of my thoughts on here in ages but I thought it was appropriate today because I don’t feel like talking about it on The Twitter. SO this guy I went to school with tweeted that it’s okay for people to meet their so-called “boo joint’s” mother. I RT’d back stating in question form that “ppl meet their boo-joint’s” mom?” because that’s new to me. Probably because my definition of a “boo-joint” is just somebody that you are ‘friends’ with that you occasionally have casual sex with but there is no real commitment or feelings involved from either one or both parties. Now, back in my day (rocks in rocking chair while sipping lemonade), the only one(s) that got to meet the parents and/or family was somebody that you’re SERIOUS about. Someone that you’re in an actual RELATIONSHIP with. Someone you could possibly envision a FUTURE with. Not just any person that you’re fucking that month. How do you even introduce a “boo-joint” to your parents? SCENARIO: Me- “Hey mom this is, Fred. He’s a friend and just somebody I occasionally have sex with, but he’s not my boyfriend… Just thought ya’ll should meet.” Mom - “Okay… O_o <— Da Fuck Face”. Talking about relationships in 2011 makes me shudder because it definitely seems like all hope is lost from some of my generation. Probably because they brought their own personal lost faith in relationships from their own families to the forefront and pushed the bullshit out on us all. 

Anyway, just thought I would share. :) 

It kills me that in 2010 so many lost/confused women are content with being a single man’s “wifey” or “baby mama”. Ya’ll date for YEARS, ya’ll move in with each other, and ya’ll have children together, basically being a married couple without the commitment, and you’re okay with it. Last I checked, if you’re not married, you’re single. This is only a win-win for the man… He can go out and do whatever he wants, with whomever he wants, because in reality he’s still single (regardless if ya’ll have children with each other or not), while you sit at home thinking that you’re something because he tells you you’re the number 1 woman in his life, and you don’t even want to think about woman number 2, 3, 4, and 5. This whole situation only sets a terrible example for the children you both have chosen to create and the cycle will only continue unless one changes it. I’m tired of all these unmarried celebrities relationships getting glorified within the media when they have made zero commitments and have a list of illegitimate children by several different people all over the world. #Scust SMH.  

The summer of 2010 has got to be titled The Summer of Newlywed Marriages… I already know that May/June/July/August is “Wedding Season”, however, the number of people that I know that have gotten married this summer is astounding and personally beautiful. (AND, I’m not even talking about people that have already had children prior to walking down the aisle… The people that I know are actually doing it the RIGHT way, and getting married after dating each other for years, after they’ve graduated from college, and have began their careers). Let me not mention the overwhelming number of celebrity marriages that have happened over the past few weeks as well. You know, in 2010, we can’t mention marriage without speaking on the overwhelming number of divorce statistics. For a long time, I didn’t think that the sanctity of marriage was that important to the generation that I was born into, and that most people would avoid marriage because either their parents/grandparents weren’t married or they didn’t know anybody that had gotten married at all (They have got to be the most negative people in regards to love/relationships that I have ever met in my life… NEVER get in a conversation with them about love/relationships/marriage/parenting). Thankfully, I have been surrounded by examples of the longevity of marriage and loving relationships since birth. My grandparents on both sides both were or have been married for over 50 years, my parents just hit the 30 year mark, and my aunts and uncles on both sides have been married for decades as well, so I’ve always known that marriages aren’t easy but they definitely can work for the long term. I am just happy to know that I am not the only one that hasn’t given up on one day spending the rest of my life with someone that I am equally meshed and in love with. 

I wish all of the couples that were wed this year (under positive pretenses) a lifetime of longevity and love with one another. 

♥

(I wrote this like a month ago and never posted it… But here it is…)

What is the point of labeling someone your “ex”, if you still speak to that person on a regular basis, you still see that person consistently, and you still even go out on dates with that person? You might as well just remain in a relationship with that individual, because despite you both constantly telling yourselves that you want to move on, it is virtually impossible to do so since you refuse to totally let go. When a relationship ends, if you ever want to emotionally get yourself back together, you have to cut ties with the person you were in a relationship with, at least for awhile. If you are in constant contact with him/her, there will be no possible way that you will be able to fully move on. I now understand why the phrase, “It’s Complicated” is in The Relationship Status column on FB, because people like to put themselves thru constant heartache over and over again, instead of just parting ways and moving on from their exes. It’s unfair to you, to your ex, and to the person that may be better suited for you in the future… I guess some people rather learn the hard way. 

- Anxious to see my friends today… It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve all been together and have been able to hang out… I wish we could spend more than just a day with each other though, but at least we have time to catch up. :)

- It is about to be HOT as all hell (literally) in Richmond today… 104 degrees in the SHADE plus humidity…. I’m moving to Alaska for the summer… LOL

- So many people can’t be alone and single, they consistently have to have somebody sniffing behind their ass at all times… Personally, I think they’re trying to make up from the attention they didn’t receive from loved ones and family members when they were younger… As an only child, I still get the attention that I need from my family and my friends, and I know how to be alone and happy while spending time with myself… Right now, I don’t even have the time, nor the patience to entertain being in a relationship because when I’m in one, I put my whole heart into it… I haven’t even met anybody that makes me even want to do that in awhile anyway, so all is well… 

- Up early… Probably go to sleep on my way up the road… :) 

- Have a great weekend!