“i’m speeding down lover’s lane, must’ve took the wrong turn, supposed to go the other way…
the music on blast, and i’m running out of gas, and i gotta find this highway…”
I haven’t typed up a dialogue of my thoughts on here in ages but I thought it was appropriate today because I don’t feel like talking about it on The Twitter. SO this guy I went to school with tweeted that it’s okay for people to meet their so-called “boo joint’s” mother. I RT’d back stating in question form that “ppl meet their boo-joint’s” mom?” because that’s new to me. Probably because my definition of a “boo-joint” is just somebody that you are ‘friends’ with that you occasionally have casual sex with but there is no real commitment or feelings involved from either one or both parties. Now, back in my day (rocks in rocking chair while sipping lemonade), the only one(s) that got to meet the parents and/or family was somebody that you’re SERIOUS about. Someone that you’re in an actual RELATIONSHIP with. Someone you could possibly envision a FUTURE with. Not just any person that you’re fucking that month. How do you even introduce a “boo-joint” to your parents? SCENARIO: Me- “Hey mom this is, Fred. He’s a friend and just somebody I occasionally have sex with, but he’s not my boyfriend… Just thought ya’ll should meet.” Mom - “Okay… O_o <— Da Fuck Face”. Talking about relationships in 2011 makes me shudder because it definitely seems like all hope is lost from some of my generation. Probably because they brought their own personal lost faith in relationships from their own families to the forefront and pushed the bullshit out on us all.
So I’ve been listening to J.Cole’s newest mixtape, “Friday Night Lights” on blast all afternoon. He’s definitely one of my favorite up-and-coming rappers because he reminds me of me and so many of my peers. He doesn’t consistently speak (lie) about what he has financially or materialistically on his songs, but he speaks about the success that he seeks. It’s as if he’s so close to fulfilling his dreams, he has his arm stretched out with his hand open, ready to grab them but his hand won’t close on them yet. That’s exactly how I feel. I started writing my thoughts down today in a personal journal, entitled “23”. In my first entry I wrote about the fact that I turn 23 in two days and I still don’t have a real job in my field. I never thought it would be like this after I graduated from college. I thought that I would be anywhere but living with my parents in Richmond working a PT retail job, hopefully starting out somewhere in my career. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened yet. The only thing I can do is continue to stay persistent, attempt to stay positive, and keep applying. I’m blessed to have a job in this day and age, but it really is disheartening to go thru long stretches without hearing feedback from anybody in what I am actually interested in. So, I’m just going to vibe out today, and continue to listen to J.Cole’s mixtape, because at least I know I’m not alone in the pursuit to reach dreams.
Even you haven’t DL’d “Friday Night Lights”, you need to.
I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger than reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I cannot transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.
Do you know the meaning of your name? Was there a significant reason why your parent(s) decided to name you what they did? Or did they just make it up because they thought it sounded “good”? Do you like your name? Would you change it, if given the opportunity to do so?
The main reason why I am asking all of these questions is because today at church the minister brought up the topic of the significance of naming. He stated that a long time ago, parents actually used to name their children names that had some sort of significant meaning to either their lives or their families. Then my pastor stated that a girl in the daycare program at my church was named, MARIJUANA. #BlankStare O_O YES… After the drug.
After I got over the initial shock of an innocent child being named Marijuana and the fact that this poor girl will probably be teased by EVERYONE she comes in contact with, will be embarrassed when people call her name in class and anywhere she goes, and will eventually end up hating her name so much so that she will either go by a nickname for the rest of her life or change her name as soon as she hits adulthood, I thought about the significance of naming and why most people used to put some actual thought into what they named their children. I also thought about how important it is to gain knowledge about life and the different cultures and societies throughout the world, not only in a classroom setting but just to generally educate oneself in order to be self-aware of the world, in the past, the present, and in the future. If people were given the accessibility to learn more about kings and queens and other inspirational people in the past and in the present, instead of about the many different types of liquor, cars, or drugs in modern day “culture”, maybe there would be less little Marijuana’s, Tequila’s and Lexus’s running around, but more Nzingha’s, Khama’s, or Makeda’s.
So earlier today as I’m walking into the nail salon, in the good part of town no less, there I see a random man just sitting outside two benches down from the door. As I open my car door, he proceeds to unzip his pants, pull out his penis, and begin to masturbate. I don’t think it’s possible to run into the salon as fast I did before this clearly mentally unstable man did something even more outlandish and attacked me or something as ridiculously crazy as him stroking himself out in a public place. I’ve heard of this type of thing happening all the time nowadays on the evening news but never has it happened to me in real life, until today. Eventually the police showed up, as I knew they would, and with no real evidence (because of course he wasn’t still playing with himself when they arrived) they told him to move and stop loitering. At first I was disgusted, but now I can’t help but sort of feel sorry for the man. He clearly had mental problems. I think there should be some type of unit that one can call when they run across people with mental issues, that instead of the police arresting the individual and taking them to a prison and locking them up, they could take them to some sort of counseling/rehabilitation center because clearly if you’re bold enough to do that in public you need major psychiatric help.
It kills me that in 2010 so many lost/confused women are content with being a single man’s “wifey” or “baby mama”. Ya’ll date for YEARS, ya’ll move in with each other, and ya’ll have children together, basically being a married couple without the commitment, and you’re okay with it. Last I checked, if you’re not married, you’re single. This is only a win-win for the man… He can go out and do whatever he wants, with whomever he wants, because in reality he’s still single (regardless if ya’ll have children with each other or not), while you sit at home thinking that you’re something because he tells you you’re the number 1 woman in his life, and you don’t even want to think about woman number 2, 3, 4, and 5. This whole situation only sets a terrible example for the children you both have chosen to create and the cycle will only continue unless one changes it. I’m tired of all these unmarried celebrities relationships getting glorified within the media when they have made zero commitments and have a list of illegitimate children by several different people all over the world. #Scust SMH.
- Anxious to see my friends today… It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve all been together and have been able to hang out… I wish we could spend more than just a day with each other though, but at least we have time to catch up. :)
- It is about to be HOT as all hell (literally) in Richmond today… 104 degrees in the SHADE plus humidity…. I’m moving to Alaska for the summer… LOL
- So many people can’t be alone and single, they consistently have to have somebody sniffing behind their ass at all times… Personally, I think they’re trying to make up from the attention they didn’t receive from loved ones and family members when they were younger… As an only child, I still get the attention that I need from my family and my friends, and I know how to be alone and happy while spending time with myself… Right now, I don’t even have the time, nor the patience to entertain being in a relationship because when I’m in one, I put my whole heart into it… I haven’t even met anybody that makes me even want to do that in awhile anyway, so all is well…
- Up early… Probably go to sleep on my way up the road… :)
So I’ve been listening to J.Cole’s newest mixtape, “Friday Night Lights” on blast all afternoon. He’s definitely one of my favorite up-and-coming rappers because he reminds me of me and so many of my peers. He doesn’t consistently speak (lie) about what he has financially or materialistically on his songs, but he speaks about the success that he seeks. It’s as if he’s so close to fulfilling his dreams, he has his arm stretched out with his hand open, ready to grab them but his hand won’t close on them yet. That’s exactly how I feel. I started writing my thoughts down today in a personal journal, entitled “23”. In my first entry I wrote about the fact that I turn 23 in two days and I still don’t have a real job in my field. I never thought it would be like this after I graduated from college. I thought that I would be anywhere but living with my parents in Richmond working a PT retail job, hopefully starting out somewhere in my career. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened yet. The only thing I can do is continue to stay persistent, attempt to stay positive, and keep applying. I’m blessed to have a job in this day and age, but it really is disheartening to go thru long stretches without hearing feedback from anybody in what I am actually interested in. So, I’m just going to vibe out today, and continue to listen to J.Cole’s mixtape, because at least I know I’m not alone in the pursuit to reach dreams. 
