Up in the air . . . with infinite possibilities

Why Do We Have To Wait?

About a half hour ago, I saw a tweet retweeted onto my Twitter timeline stating that “There’s no shortage of good men, women just have to learn how to be patient.” I won’t get into why I feel like a woman tweeting that is ridiculous… yet, but I will ask a series of questions in reference to that tweet. Why do we have to be patient? Why do we have to wait? What’s in it for us? Is a good man that’s finally ready to act like one a prize? After years of being patient, will the heaven’s open and will we as women miraculously be awarded with the man of our dreams? This patriarchal society in which we live has really made it easy for men (Go figure). They have engrained into our heads that men are pretty much “come as you are” creatures. Take them as they are, or have nothing at all. A man can be the most horrible human being on earth, and still have a woman or women fawning over his terrible ass. Meanwhile, women have to be borderline perfect in every essence of the word, regardless of how foolish it is to think this way being that nobody is perfect. A woman has to be beautiful, have an amazing body, be loving, be caring, be empathetic and sympathetic, compassionate, have a good heart, be motherly, respectable, trustworthy, classy, know how to act in a public setting, be pure, but also be a freak for her man, be quiet, be patient, be intelligent and semi-educated, be a homemaker, be willing to be accommodating to the BS men pull… and the list goes on and on or else a woman will be deemed a cat lady or a spinster for the rest of her days. Oh, what will a woman do without a MAN! 😱 I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that I am an ideal woman. Just yesterday, one of my homeboys told me that I am the type of woman any Black man would want. He proceeded to list of the qualities that I possess and after I said “Thanks”, it really made me think. Here I am the “ideal woman” in many of the men I encounter’s eyes, and yet I don’t have a man… and when I have had one, none were ready completely for me. Am I supposed to sit around and patiently wait for the stars to align, the timing to be perfect, and for there to be no distance, to finally find a man that is ready to be the man that I need? Or am I supposed to focus on myself, my hopes, and my dreams, and if I happen to meet a man that is worthy and deserving of everything that I know that I am, inside and out, then it won’t even feel like I’ve been waiting. It will be a blessing. See, we as women give these men that aren’t ready a pass. We take them as they are and wait around hoping one day that he’ll see in us what we see in ourselves already and that he’ll accept us for the women we already know that we are like we are “supposed” to do with them. I’m no longer here for that. I shouldn’t have to wait for a damn thing. What I will do is continue striving to be the best woman I can be on my own and if a wonderful man happens to show up who wants to support my journey and vice versa, then that will be the true prize for us both.

Meet The Family?

I haven’t typed up a dialogue of my thoughts on here in ages but I thought it was appropriate today because I don’t feel like talking about it on The Twitter. SO this guy I went to school with tweeted that it’s okay for people to meet their so-called “boo joint’s” mother. I RT’d back stating in question form that “ppl meet their boo-joint’s” mom?” because that’s new to me. Probably because my definition of a “boo-joint” is just somebody that you are ‘friends’ with that you occasionally have casual sex with but there is no real commitment or feelings involved from either one or both parties. Now, back in my day (rocks in rocking chair while sipping lemonade), the only one(s) that got to meet the parents and/or family was somebody that you’re SERIOUS about. Someone that you’re in an actual RELATIONSHIP with. Someone you could possibly envision a FUTURE with. Not just any person that you’re fucking that month. How do you even introduce a “boo-joint” to your parents? SCENARIO: Me- “Hey mom this is, Fred. He’s a friend and just somebody I occasionally have sex with, but he’s not my boyfriend… Just thought ya’ll should meet.” Mom - “Okay… O_o <— Da Fuck Face”. Talking about relationships in 2011 makes me shudder because it definitely seems like all hope is lost from some of my generation. Probably because they brought their own personal lost faith in relationships from their own families to the forefront and pushed the bullshit out on us all. 

Anyway, just thought I would share. :) 


Friday Night LightsSo I’ve been listening to J.Cole’s newest mixtape, “Friday Night Lights” on blast all afternoon. He’s definitely one of my favorite up-and-coming rappers because he reminds me of me and so many of my peers. He doesn’t consistently speak (lie) about what he has financially or materialistically on his songs, but he speaks about the success that he seeks. It’s as if he’s so close to fulfilling his dreams, he has his arm stretched out with his hand open, ready to grab them but his hand won’t close on them yet. That’s exactly how I feel. I started writing my thoughts down today in a personal journal, entitled “23”. In my first entry I wrote about the fact that I turn 23 in two days and I still don’t have a real job in my field. I never thought it would be like this after I graduated from college. I thought that I would be anywhere but living with my parents in Richmond working a PT retail job, hopefully starting out somewhere in my career. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened yet. The only thing I can do is continue to stay persistent, attempt to stay positive, and keep applying. I’m blessed to have a job in this day and age, but it really is disheartening to go thru long stretches without hearing feedback from anybody in what I am actually interested in. So, I’m just going to vibe out today, and continue to listen to J.Cole’s mixtape, because at least I know I’m not alone in the pursuit to reach dreams. 

Even you haven’t DL’d “Friday Night Lights”, you need to.