About a half hour ago, I saw a tweet retweeted onto my Twitter timeline stating that “There’s no shortage of good men, women just have to learn how to be patient.” I won’t get into why I feel like a woman tweeting that is ridiculous… yet, but I will ask a series of questions in reference to that tweet. Why do we have to be patient? Why do we have to wait? What’s in it for us? Is a good man that’s finally ready to act like one a prize? After years of being patient, will the heaven’s open and will we as women miraculously be awarded with the man of our dreams? This patriarchal society in which we live has really made it easy for men (Go figure). They have engrained into our heads that men are pretty much “come as you are” creatures. Take them as they are, or have nothing at all. A man can be the most horrible human being on earth, and still have a woman or women fawning over his terrible ass. Meanwhile, women have to be borderline perfect in every essence of the word, regardless of how foolish it is to think this way being that nobody is perfect. A woman has to be beautiful, have an amazing body, be loving, be caring, be empathetic and sympathetic, compassionate, have a good heart, be motherly, respectable, trustworthy, classy, know how to act in a public setting, be pure, but also be a freak for her man, be quiet, be patient, be intelligent and semi-educated, be a homemaker, be willing to be accommodating to the BS men pull… and the list goes on and on or else a woman will be deemed a cat lady or a spinster for the rest of her days. Oh, what will a woman do without a MAN! 😱 I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that I am an ideal woman. Just yesterday, one of my homeboys told me that I am the type of woman any Black man would want. He proceeded to list of the qualities that I possess and after I said “Thanks”, it really made me think. Here I am the “ideal woman” in many of the men I encounter’s eyes, and yet I don’t have a man… and when I have had one, none were ready completely for me. Am I supposed to sit around and patiently wait for the stars to align, the timing to be perfect, and for there to be no distance, to finally find a man that is ready to be the man that I need? Or am I supposed to focus on myself, my hopes, and my dreams, and if I happen to meet a man that is worthy and deserving of everything that I know that I am, inside and out, then it won’t even feel like I’ve been waiting. It will be a blessing. See, we as women give these men that aren’t ready a pass. We take them as they are and wait around hoping one day that he’ll see in us what we see in ourselves already and that he’ll accept us for the women we already know that we are like we are “supposed” to do with them. I’m no longer here for that. I shouldn’t have to wait for a damn thing. What I will do is continue striving to be the best woman I can be on my own and if a wonderful man happens to show up who wants to support my journey and vice versa, then that will be the true prize for us both.